


Rain Check

by Mimm



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimm/pseuds/Mimm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General distress under impending doom, minimal social skills, and a tech fail. It's never easy being Reginald Barclay but sometimes it's even harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain Check

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissHammer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHammer/gifts).



> I secretly wished to get this assignment even before I signed up, and I was so happy to see it in my inbox. I absolutely loved the chance to write Barclay, the awkward mess that he is.

The spotlight shone brightly and Reg fought the urge to shade his eyes with his hand. It was hot, uncomfortably so, and he felt droplets of sweat forming on his temples and his neck. Dozens of people sat in front of him, looking up at him, eagerly waiting for his next words.

He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He tried to cough but still nothing. Even the cough was silent. He heard a shuffle of clothes from the audience, the occasional clearing of a throat, and whispers. Dozens and dozens of faces now, expecting him to speak up, their expressions more judgmental than a while ago.

On his right, Beverly was looking at him, her brows raised. Next to her stood Deanna, and she had a similar, inquisitive expression on her face. He tried to tell her he couldn't speak but there was no voice. He looked at the audience and its size had doubled.

"Mr Barclay?" said a man from the front row, broad-shouldered and so tall Reg felt tiny in comparison. "We've paid for this. Present us your findings in the form of a ballet and song, as you have promised."

He tried to speak, he tried and he tried, but he couldn't get out even the tiniest hiss. Beverly looked stern now, angry even, and behind her stood Geordi, shaking his head in disappointment and disapproval.

"I can't!" Reg tried to say, feeling faint now, but it didn't work.

Then, as if his situation wasn't unpleasant enough, the people started to take their clothes off. He shook his head, waved his hands and arms, pleading them to stop. One after another they were in various stages of undress, the audience as well as his crew members. He tried to cover his eyes with his forearm but it was as if he could see through it. It was no use. The people were there, naked, and they were approaching him, demanding his attention, pulling at his clothes, touching him, touching his skin.

He woke up in utter panic.

Just a dream, he thought. Just another nightmare. He sighed heavily, noticing his condition. Sighing heavily he pushed the damp sheets aside and got up, walking to the shower.

"Imagine the audience naked," he muttered to himself. One of the worst possible pieces of advice he had ever been given and a source of several recurring nightmares. For once he would have appreciated one where he was naked in front of everyone else, not this way around. Why Deanna had suggested this approach, he would never understand.

*

It was as if the interrupted sleep had set the tone for the rest of Reg's day. It continued the way it had begun - badly. He couldn't hold a spanner without dropping it, and when he entered the Jefferies tube he hit his head.

By lunch time, his only wish was to go back to his bed and sleep and wake up again in two weeks when the conference was over. Then all he would have to worry about was his everyday work, the people around him, and his life in general. Basically, everything else that he found distressing, except the conference.

As he finally sat down for lunch, he felt ready to pat himself on the back for making it that far in one piece.

"How is your lunch?" he heard a question, and he turned to look at the person speaking. Data.

"It's fine," he lied. He didn't know why he had chosen tuna salad. He wasn't big on tuna. Or carrots. There were lots of carrots in this salad. The person in front of him had chosen it and, absentminded as he was, he had simply followed her example, realizing his mistake only when he had received the portion. He hadn't dared to return it and order something he'd like more.

"May I sit?"

He nodded, poking at a piece of carrot, so bright orange and so unappealing.

"I could not help noticing you have been more distracted than usual. Is everything all right?"

"No. Everything is not all right."

"Would you care to elaborate? I might be able to help."

"I doubt that. It's the conference and the presentation. Any way I try to look at it, I know it will end in a disaster. You wouldn't by any chance be willing to do it for me?"

"I fear I am not acquainted enough with your theories and solutions to qualify as your substitute."

Reg let out a sigh. He hadn't really thought his problem to solve itself that easily.

"I wasn't really serious," he said.

"Oh. In that case, may I offer a suggestion?"

"Anything. Please."

"If I am not mistaken, your problem is not the lack of preparation or knowledge but the audience."

Reg cringed and nodded. It really was that obvious to everyone.

"There is a method I have come across during my studies of human behaviour and coping mechanisms for stressful social situations such as this one."

This sounded promising, Reg thought to himself. If an android was about to suggest something, it should be based on hard facts.

"You should try imagining your audience naked."

"Augh, not you, too," he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Why does everyone keep suggesting that? It's the worst possible scenario I can think of!"

"I believe it is to make the audience seem less threatening, perhaps even a little embarrassed. Is that not how you see it?"

"I'm a man, for God's sake," Reg said, hearing his own exasperation. His fork clinked against his plate as he dropped it. "Unlike you seem to think, my reaction to naked people is not a boost in my confidence."

"How so?"

There was no easy to way to explain this to a non-human, and he most certainly wasn't going to spell it out plainly while there were other people around who might overhear this conversation.

"All right. See what your database says about male perception, visual stimulation and male anatomy. Now add to that the presence of naked people."

"Ah," Data said, opening his mouth, then closing it. "I think I see your dilemma."

"Exactly."

"In that case, what do you think about bunny suits?"

He chuckled involuntarily. Was he accidentally asleep again? Was this another of his stress dreams?

"Bunny suits?" he managed to ask with a relatively straight face.

"Would the board of directors in bunny suits not make you feel superior to them?"

"Somehow I doubt that."

"I see. I will think more on this. When I have a solution I will let you know."

"Thanks."

He wasn't going to count on it.

*

It was the third time Reg had hit the same part of his knee against a ladder step that day, and he could imagine the size of the bruise he was going to develop once the day was over.

Behind him, right under him, came Geordi.

"You ok, Reg?" he asked. "You seem a little more quiet than usual."

That meant he was really quiet. He knew he wasn't known for being the chatty guy of the bunch by any standards, so him being quiet meant he probably hadn't spoken for days.

"It's nothing," he said, sitting down and rubbing his palm against his sore knee. He wasn't ready to have this same conversation again within a few hours.

"Come on, we're friends, right? Talk to me."

Friends. He still had trouble understanding what it really meant. But it felt nice.

"It's that damn conference," he said, feeling like he had had this same conversation already.

"I thought as much. You know your stuff, Reg, it'll go fine. Not everyone's a smooth talker and that's ok."

"Everyone seems to think so except me."

"Have you talked to counsellor Troi about it?"

"Yes. She's good at her job but even she can't fix this."

Geordi was quiet for a while, briefly biting his lip as if he was considering something.

"I might have a suggestion."

Not him, too.

"Before you say anything, I'd just like to ask that you don't mention naked people in any shape or form."

"What?" Geordi said, laughing. It was a nice laugh and brought a smile on Reg's face. Those were a rare thing today.

"Never mind. What were you about to say?"

"You're good at holo programming. I'm sure you've tried improvising the presentation there, right?"

"Yes. It doesn't work. I know it's not real. I could rehearse it time and time again but it's not the same as facing the real people. Or all the uncontrollable variables that come with reality."

There was a quiet moment.

"You have a point," Geordi said, then paused. "Listen. I know you're going to say no, but I'm just going to ask anyway."

Reg rubbed his knee absentmindedly, not sure if wanted to hear this.

"If you want to go through your notes with me, I'd be more than happy to help out."

He wanted to say yes, he really did, but he shook his head.

"I had to ask," Geordi said, shrugging. "Ok, how about we get some drinks after work? I could use some winding down."

Again, the temptation to agree was great, but the fear was greater.

"I've banged my knee pretty badly," he said. "I think I have to see Dr Crusher."

He didn't want to look up at Geordi. He didn't want to see what expression he had on his face.

"Ok," Geordi said.

"Rain check?" Reg offered.

"Sure, Reg. Rain check."

Something turned in the pit of Reg's stomach and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

*

Reg rubbed his knee but it no longer hurt. Beverly had taken care of it. He picked up the rope in front of him and wrapped his fingers around it, coiling it evenly. He was standing next to a wall of solid rock, dark grey, with cracks on it. He looked up, tilting his head so far back he wondered if he'd injure his neck. It was a high cliff. Just the way he liked it.

"Computer," he said. "Variation... Deanna."

Deanna appeared next to him, in climbing gear just like him.

"Are you ready, dear?" she asked him, looking eager.

He gave Deanna a brief smile and a nod. He put his foot in one of the lower cracks, then touched the rock with his hand, enjoying the mix of soft and sharp surfaces, feeling his way through the cracks to find one sturdy enough to help him pull himself up.

He had come across rock climbing by accident but he had found it rather enjoyable. He would never dare to do it in real life, not in a million years, but in the safety of a holodeck he felt he could push himself to try things he normally wouldn't. This was one of them.

The initial lift off, the moment his feet left the ground, was always just as exciting. Even when it was only a foot above the ground level, it meant he was up, holding onto a wall of rock, keeping himself up simply by feet and hands and rope and luck. The further up he went, the more his heart pounded, from the excitement as well as the exercise.

He rarely looked down in the real world, but in this creation of his, he felt able to do anything.

"Look," he said to Deanna who was two feet away from him, and she turned her head to look down where he was pointing. There was a little basket set on a plaid blanket, filled with food and a bottle of wine. A picnic he had intended for them to enjoy afterwards. It looked tiny now.

"I have a surprise waiting for you up there," he continued. "Something to go with the food." He had programmed another basket up on the cliff, this one filled with roses, but he didn't tell Deanna that. He wanted her to find out for herself.

Deanna laughed, like a woman very much in love, and Reg liked how it made him feel.

"We'd better get going or the wine will be too warm," he said, knowing it would keep as cool as he wanted for as long as he wanted. In this world, nothing went against his wishes and everything was perfect.

They were halfway up the cliff when Reg found his mind wandering. He thought about the day, the lunch and the conference. He thought about Geordi and his helpful suggestions, his offer for a beer.

He should have said yes. He had wanted so badly to agree but something had stopped him. He knew what it was but even in the privacy of his own mind he didn't want to say it out loud.

"Computer," he said, then paused. Was he sure he wanted to do this? Here, during this programme? He swallowed, then decided that yes, he was. "Variation Geordi."

Deanna was no longer on the cliff next to him. Instead, there was Geordi, and on his face he had a smile just as wide as Deanna had just had on hers.

"Reg, honey," he said. "That wine's not waiting much longer. I'll race you to the top."

Reg laughed, liking the sudden challenge.

"You won't win," he said. "I'm the master of thi--"

The wall of rock disappeared from underneath his fingers and turned into air, and before he could register what had happened he was already on the floor, on his back, and his right elbow hurt. He had banged it hard on the floor as he had fallen.

It took a couple of seconds to reorient himself in this reality, but once he did he rushed to the door. There were people in the corridor, looking puzzled, and he started jogging.

"La Forge to Barclay," his combadge came to life.

"I'm already on my way."

"Good, we need you here."

*

"Captain to Engineering. What's our status?"

"Sir, it seems our field coils are damaged, and so is our warp drive. There are unexpectedly high levels of tetryons in this area of space. Most of our sensors are down but it looks like we've been hit by an electromagnetic blast. We're not quite adrift in space but we only have impulse power."

"I noticed," Picard said, a little annoyed. "How long do you estimate this lasts?"

"Hard to say when we're still doing calculations," Geordi began, giving Reg a look, and Reg nodded. "I wouldn't be surprised if this took us two or three days."

"Three days?" Picard half shouted.

"Yes, sir," Geordi said. "We're doing our best to make it shorter. This area isn't safe and the sooner we get out the better."

"I suppose the conference will have to wait," Picard said, sounding a little absentminded. "I'd better let the Admiral know. Do your best, Geordi."

The conference. Yes. Suddenly Reg felt elated. There was a chance his team didn't have to attend the conference, which meant he wouldn't have to attend it, which meant he didn't have to do any presentations at all. He shouldn't have been as happy about Enterprise losing its warp drive as he was, but he couldn't help himself.

An hour into the newly found problem, they were already a lot wiser. They hadn't completely lost their warp drive, but it would take at least a day, maybe two, to get it stable enough to work. The disturbances hadn't only affected their speed but the rest of the ship as well, mostly the non-essential areas that didn't have as solid a back-up as the more essential ones.

This would explain why the holodeck suffered a malfunction, as well as most of the personnel's quarters. They still had their weapons and impulse power, so they were far from being stranded in space. It was a nuisance, certainly, but not a disaster. Unless they ran into another concentration of tetryons, in which case it could become a disaster.

Looking at Geordi work on the fried fuses, Reg thought about his rock climbing programme. He felt sad he hadn't been able to go any further with it. He would have enjoyed seeing where it could have gone. Sighing, he joined Geordi. These short-circuits weren't going to sort themselves out. As much as he would have wanted to prolong their arrival to the conference, it wasn't his place to make that decision.

*

They had travelled on impulse speed for two days, making some progress in fixing the problem, but Reg hadn't stopped feeling uncomfortable. Paranoia was something he was very familiar with, but even then he felt it strange when people, some he only knew by face, had started paying more attention to him. It wasn't only in Engineering but in Ten Forward as well, even when he tried to pick the most remote table there was and avoided eye contact with anyone he didn't personally know well. Meaning just about everyone on the ship.

He wasn't sure if it was because they thought him responsible for their ship still being stuck on impulse speed, but it wouldn't surprise him. At least his team had managed to fix all the food replicators.

"Hey Reg," he heard a woman's voice call him as she passed by, holding two bright green drinks. She looked amused. "Nice work. I was starting to miss my tea with lemon and honey, if you know what I mean."

Before he could ask her what she meant she had already walked away. Tea wasn't green, was it? No, he was pretty sure it wasn't.

He had gotten used to being called Mr Barclay or Lieutenant Barclay or any other variation of his last name, or occasionally Reginald or Reg, but the number of people who had now started calling him just Reg was beginning to bother him a little.

His roommate, Levinson, walked past him, then stopped and turned around to look at him over his shoulder.

"Hey listen, Reg, honey," he began. "If you want, you could join us for a beer or two." A broad smile.

Honey?

Oh no. No, no, no.

He was sure that if he stayed there for even a second longer, he would most likely pass out, so without a word he stood up, leaving his bagel on the table, and marched towards the turbolift.

Oh hell.

*

The holodeck was empty, covered in yellow lines criss-crossing from floor to ceiling.

"Computer," Reg said, and he could hear his voice was shaky. "Run diagnostics on recent programme failures, starting from 48 hours ago."

"No programme failures registered."

That was odd. He was sure there had to be something.

"Computer," he repeated. "Are there any time stamp discrepancies present in any programmes that have been run during the past 48 hours?"

"Two discrepancies found."

Aha.

"Show me the details."

There was only one programme that had been affected. Its author -- Reginald Barclay. The first glitch, only 0.4 seconds long, fit the time of the initial malfunction and the time he had fallen off the rock wall. The second glitch, lasting for 0.27 seconds, followed the first one within two seconds, most likely the time when the back-up power to the secondary areas of the ship, including holodeck, had kicked in.

Nothing indicated that the programme had been interrupted despite the fact he had witnessed it firsthand and had the bruises the prove it.

It still didn't explain the way everyone behaved around him, as if they knew something they weren't supposed to know. The references to honey couldn't have been lucky coincidences. Once, maybe, but not when it kept being repeated by several people.

"Computer, how many new holo programmes have been created within the last 48 hours?"

"None."

Well, that at least made sense. No one was supposed to add any extra strain on the ship's systems until they were in the clear. Using a programme was permitted, though not recommended, but creating new ones required permission from Engineering.

"How many holo programmes have been adjusted within the last 48 hours?"

"153 programmes."

Oh. This wasn't good. Not good at all.

"Please describe the adjustments."

"Additional characters, one. Additional relationships, one."

"Name?"

Not that he had to ask it. He knew the answer.

"Geordi La Forge."

"And the relationship..."

"Romantic relationship between first person named Reg and Geordi La Forge."

Yeah.

He was screwed.

*

Reg could live the rest of his life in his quarters. He had food and clothes, a bed, cleaning facilities. He didn't need to go out, really. Meeting other live beings was overrated. Yes, he had to share his space with Levinson, but he could ask for Levinson to apply for reassigned quarters. He was sure Levinson wouldn't be opposed to that at all.

"Engineering to Barclay," he heard the persistent voice calling to him again. He wasn't going to answer.

"Barclay, please respond."

Maybe he could make them believe there was an unexpected, localized communications malfunction and they'd stop pestering him. Maybe he could make them believe he had left Enterprise altogether. He could have taken a shuttle and left to scout the area.

Who would have thought that there would be a point in time when he actually preferred the presentation to this predicament? Even a naked presentation, with naked audience and naked him and absolutely no preparation.

"Reg, please," Geordi tried again.

Reg sighed.

"I'm not here," he responded, then rolled his eyes at his own words. Really, Reg? Really?

"What is going on?"

Perhaps Geordi didn't know yet. He would probably be the only person on this ship who didn't. Even the captain must have known by now.

"I, uh--" he began, then thought feverishly of every possible excuse he had ever used or thought of using. "I'm not feeling well."

It wasn't a lie as such.

"Maybe I," he continued. "Maybe I hit my head during that fall. I've been having a headache since then but didn't, uh, I didn't want to worry you."

Technically not a lie. Well ok, a lie, but not a big one.

"Are you all right?" Geordi asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'll be fine. I just need to rest for a bit."

"Well all right," Geordi said. "Does Dr Crusher know?"

"She does. Thanks."

"Ok, good. You take care."

Then silence.

He sat down on his bed, then dropped onto his back. Maybe he could spend the rest of this day just looking at the ceiling. He'd be fine with that.

*

In the end, Reg had to leave his bed and his quarters. He didn't want to be punished for leaving his post at such a crucial time.

It was a terrible thought but he was relieved he couldn't see Geordi's accusatory gaze, though he must have had one behind the VISOR.

"Sir," he began, trying to prepare himself for anything that might be said. He could feel his heart race and his palms sweat.

"No, don't call me that."

"I'm sorry," he said, wanting the earth to swallow him. How come that never actually happened?

"Honey?" Geordi continued. "Really?"

And there it was.

"Sir, I'd like to apo, apo, to apol--" he stammered.

"I told you not to call me sir," Geordi said.

"My apol, apologies."

"Calm down," Geordi said. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"G-good," he managed, lowering his gaze and looking at the floor and at Geordi's shoes.

"But honey?"

"Sir, I-- I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't m--"

"It's not a word I'd use," Geordi continued.

"I know."

"Hun, maybe, but not honey."

"Excuse me?" Reg said, his heart flipping as if he was about to have a heart attack. Was he getting fired or not?

"Sit down, Reg," Geordi said, waving a hand towards a chair, and he was too stunned not to do as he was told. Geordi sat next to him.

"I wish you'd have spoken sooner," Geordi began, and Reg felt like he had been dropped in the middle of a holo programme, and not one of his own but someone else's.

"I'm sorry, I'm confused," he said, frowning, trying to make sense of everything.

"We're friends, aren't we?" Geordi said, and Reg nodded. "I wish you could've felt safe to tell me."

"What?"

"That you like me."

"Like you."

He was sure he was having an out of body experience right then and there. He didn't feel like himself at all. He wasn't sure who he was or where he was, but this was all feeling very unreal.

"I'm not always very good at reading people's expressions or body language," Geordi said. "Whenever I think I might hear something in a person's voice hinting at interest, I tend to brush it aside as a mistake."

"Okay," Reg said, stretching the word, still frowning.

"I know what happened with your holo programme. I've seen it."

Somehow those words didn't come as a surprise.

"It was meant to be private," he began. "I had no intention of ever letting anyone know. Ever."

"I know that. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"If you'll excuse me for being blunt here, what are you saying, exactly? Because I'm totally lost," Reg said, trying to smile but feeling several kinds of awkward.

"Well, originally I was going to come here and ask you out, but you seem to be having a nervous breakdown so I'm trying to calm you down first."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Out?"

"You know, dinner at my quarters, maybe. You still owe me that drink, remember? Or whatever else you might like to do on holodeck instead. I'm open for suggestions."

"Rock climbing."

"Rock climbing?"

"That's what I like to do on holodeck. Never mind. Dinner? You're sure you mean me and not Levinson or someone else?"

Geordi laughed.

"I may be blind," he said, "but I'm not that blind. I know who I'm talking to, Reg."

"Just checking."

"Then you say yes?"

Dinner. With Geordi. In his quarters.

"Yes?"

"Excellent. Thursday sound ok? Around eight?"

He nodded.

Before the reality had sunk in, Geordi had walked out and left him all on his own. Was he about to have dinner with Geordi? A date?

In two days?

Wait. Hun?

*

Romantic encounters and dates on holodeck were one of Reg's favourite things to do. He always knew what to look like and what to wear, how to act, and he knew he would be greeted with appreciation and admiration. Now he had tried on several shirts and trousers but nothing was good. Every single one of them looked wrong. His hair looked wrong. Even his face had started to look wrong. He briefly thought if he could go to the infirmary and get a new look with a bit of cosmetic surgery or something to make him look like someone completely different.

Or he could cancel the date.

No, he didn't want that.

Suddenly it was eight and he was still in his quarters, pulling at his sleeves that felt too short. He didn't want to be late but he already was, like usual. Damn. This would have to do, he thought while looking at his grey shirt with almost too short sleeves, and started making his way towards Geordi's quarters. Every step he took made him more and more uncertain of what he was doing.

Eventually he was standing at Geordi's door, slight nausea building up in his stomach. Earlier he had felt a brief moment of the good kind of excitement, but this was all of the bad kind.

The door opened before he knew what he would say or how he would greet Geordi, but there was no one there. It took a second to notice that Geordi was further in the room, wearing a pale orange shirt and holding a glass that he placed on the table. He looked nice. Too nice.

"Hello," Reg began. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. Bye."

He turned around and started making his way through the corridor. How could he have thought this would work? He heard Geordi call for him but didn't stop. At a corner, he turned right and nearly ran into Levinson who gave him an amused look. How was he always everywhere where Reg was? Was it his life goal to pester him?

"Late for work again? Better get your uniform," Levinson asked, but Reg didn't bother to answer him and just continued walking as if Levinson wasn't even there.

He heard the sound of footsteps and then Geordi's voice. He was asking Reg to stop, and he wanted to, but now his embarrassment was enough to keep him walking.

"Please, just stop," Geordi said, close now. "Reg, come on." Reg felt his hand on his shoulder.

Two people passed by, curious looks on their faces, but they didn't say a word. Reg turned to look at Geordi.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked. He wanted to bite his tongue.

"Good, he speaks. Now that I caught you, are you going to join me in my quarters or do you want to sit here and talk?"

"Sitting's fine," he said feebly.

But Geordi actually sat down on the floor.

"Ok, let's sit here then."

Geordi didn't look like he was about to get back up. Glancing left and right for anyone who might be watching them but seeing no one there, Reg sat down next to Geordi.

"What happened?" Geordi asked him.

"The usual," Reg said with a heavy sigh. "I'm not good with dates. Not with real people, anyway."

There was a pause.

"Have you heard the stories of my numerous conquests and exes?" Geordi asked.

"No, nobody's told me."

"Because there aren't that many. Reg, I'm not the kind of guy you go to for dating advice. I'm the guy who goes to other guys."

"Oh."

"When was the last time you saw me dating someone?"

He had to consider that. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Geordi with anyone apart from his friends. It didn't mean Geordi never saw anyone on Risa, for example, but Reg hadn't seen it happen.

"I'm sorry," he said, resigned, feeling like he usually did in these situations - a little ridiculous and a lot stupid. "This has to be your worst date ever."

Geordi started to laugh. "It isn't, actually. You'd be surprised how bad some have been."

Reg smiled. Even if he was lying it was a comforting thought.

"Just give me an hour and I'll change your mind," he said.

"I'll give you all night if you want," Geordi said, still with a hint of laughter. "But could we go somewhere else? I'm not saying this isn't a nice corridor, but..."

"I know what you mean."

"So you'll come?"

He nodded.

"And you won't run away?"

"I'll try not to."

"Good."

*

Geordi's quarters looked nice. Comfortable. Not that much bigger than Reg's, but then, he had to share his with Levinson. He would change privacy to a smaller room any day, without a second thought. He told this to Geordi.

"I don't miss those days," Geordi agreed. "But before you know it, you'll get a promotion and your own place."

"Unless they kick me out before that," Reg said with a chuckle.

"Ok, Reg, I'll say this just once, so listen."

Not the words he had expected to hear.

"You've got to stop that," Geordi continued. "You're a good engineer and there's absolutely no reason why you'd be kicked out, as you put it. Not unless you deliberately sabotage your career here."

Geordi sounded like Deanna and it didn't feel good, but he knew the man was right.

"I know," he said. "Bad habit, I guess."

"Good. Ok."

This was a little awkward.

"I know we aren't supposed to talk about work," Geordi continued, picking up the empty glass he'd left the table and taking a sip. "I've just got to ask. How's your part of our presentation going?"

Reg groaned, throwing himself against the backrest of the couch.

"Badly," he said. "And I'm not just saying that. I really mean that."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

"All right. Then how about I distract you for one night?"

That sounded frightening. And exciting. But mostly frightening.

"What did you have in mind?" he said, trying to sound playful and sexy, yet feeling anything but.

"I have to be honest here," Geordi said. "I thought we'd have dinner but I couldn't decide what and where, here or on holodeck in a fancy Parisian restaurant. So I'm asking you."

"I'm not actually hungry," Reg said. "Stomach in knots does that."

"Then how about a drink?" Geordi asked, showing the glass. "I already had a head start."

"God yes. I mean, I'd love one."

What Geordi brought him looked golden brown, and when Reg took a sip it tasted like beer. He wasn't the biggest beer drinker but this one didn't taste too bad.

It was only then that he heard there was a gentle melody playing in the background, mostly piano, but he didn't recognize the composer. Not that it mattered. Focus. He needed to focus. He took a long swig of the beer, hoping the synthehol would have an effect on him.

"You mentioned rock climbing," Geordi said, and Reg looked up. How was Geordi able to look so relaxed, just sitting there casually with his arm on the backrest of the couch? Wasn't he ever nervous about anything? "Is that something you do on shore leave?"

"No," Reg shook his head a little. "I don't think I'd dare to do it for real. But on holodeck it's great."

"You should show me sometime."

The image of Geordi climbing right next to him, racing him, came up clear in his mind. Clear like a memory, even when it wasn't real.

"I might," he said, liking the thought of sharing a holo programme with someone.

"What do you want to do on your next shore leave?" Geordi asked. 

Reg appreciated him taking the active role. He had practiced so many times what to do or say on a date, but right now nothing came to his mind. It was as if all of his holodeck programmes had failed to teach him anything.

"I don't know," he said, not because he didn't want to share but because he really didn't. "I don't usually go much anywhere. If I do, it's some remote place with a minimal amount of people."

Even to his own ear he sounded a little pathetic and he sighed.

"You should join me on Risa," Geordi said, and there was a wide, bright smile on his face, like he was remembering something very pleasant.

"You like Risa?" Reg asked, hoping he wasn't pushy. Ok, hardly. It wasn't like he was asking Geordi about his showering habits.

"Doesn't everyone?" Geordi said, relaxing against the backrest and looking up at the ceiling, biting his lip. "That place is amazing. The best beaches and the best clubs, and the most pleasant people you'll ever meet anywhere. There's not a single moment that isn't pure enjoyment."

"Sounds terrible," Reg said, and Geordi looked at him, brows raised.

"Terrible?"

"It was a joke," Reg said, and to his relief Geordi did seem to understand it. "Though I'm not sure I'd be comfortable mingling with people in a crowded night club."

"We wouldn't have to go to a club," Geordi said. "I know you'd like it there, no matter what you think."

"I've been there," Reg said.

"Really? You didn't say anything."

"You didn't ask. No, it was a brief visit. Not even a day."

"Then you haven't seen the place at all," Geordi said, smiling to himself. "I'm going to take you there and I swear you will love it."

Reg didn't know what to say, so he raised his glass to his lips and drank the rest of the beer.

"What would we do there?" he asked tentatively.

"Anything we can think of. Swim in the ocean, soak in the sun, hike in the woods. I think we could even try rock climbing if you want."

Geordi had a pleasant voice and Reg closed his eyes, listening to all the things they would do together, the little details like running into wildlife, getting sunburns, losing a sandal and seeing a couple sneaking away to enjoy each other. Reg had only been on Risa very briefly but the images he saw now made him think he'd very much like to go there again.

For the first time in a long time, Reg was beginning to feel like he didn't have to panic and worry every other second. Like he could just be and enjoy the company of an actual person.

Maybe it was the low lighting or the calming effect of the piano playing in the background, or Geordi's smooth voice and his many tales of the adventures they would have, but Reg could feel himself drifting off. He tried to keep himself awake and tried to open his eyes, but they didn't open.

*

There was a noise and Reg started. He looked to his left, searching for his night stand, but there was none. Where was he? What time was it? Was he late for work again?

The evening came back to him in pieces, the beer and talking and music. The date. He got up, looking around to see where Geordi might be -- he was sleeping right next to him, looking peaceful, his VISOR slightly askew.

Reg reached out to him, taking it off and letting his fingertips rest on Geordi's face for a few brief seconds. His skin was soft and warm. It was real and it felt real. Reg didn't want to stop touching it. Sighing, he put the VISOR on the table and got up.

He began tiptoeing towards the door, hoping it wouldn't make too big a sound when it opened.

"I had a good time," he heard from behind his back, the voice startling him. He turned back to see Geordi with his eyes closed. "I hope this wasn't our last date."

"Good night," Reg said, avoiding the subject, then stepped out and made his way towards his own quarters, hoping Levinson wouldn't wake up.

*

Reg wasn't on duty the next day and he felt both relieved and disappointed. He wouldn't know what to say to Geordi if they ran into each other. He wanted to see Geordi again but he was afraid to.

When he had gotten back to his own bed, he hadn't been able to fall asleep for several hours, his mind racing. He felt regret that he had run off like that. That he hadn't done what he had wanted to do. Would he ever learn to just let go? The feeling of regret followed him all through the next day.

He had taken a risk and gone to Ten Forward during lunch time. He tried to convince himself that he was only doing it to become more social, but deep inside he knew the real reason.

"You look like you're miles away," he heard a voice somewhere close, and he looked up.

"Deanna. I mean counsellor Troi."

"Deanna. May I sit?"

He gestured towards the chair, hoping it was a clear enough answer.

"Something's different," she said as she sat down. "Something's changed."

Yes. Being the resident empath, as always. It was such an unfair advantage to be able to tell how everyone else around you was feeling. Only thing worse would have been if she had been an actual telepath.

"You don't have to say what it is."

Reg had to wonder if maybe she was a telepath, after all.

"You seem a little troubled but also happier than you've been lately. I'm glad."

"Yes," he said, clearing his throat. "Some things have changed."

What a vague thing to say, he scalded himself, wondering why had never been blessed with even the most basic of social skills. He could reprogram a transporter in his sleep but keeping up a regular conversation was a thing he could never master.

"What I mean is that I've had some good news," he continued, feeling like he owed her a better explanation. "On personal matters. Well, not news, but certain situations have changed for the better."

He shouldn't have bothered to even try. He sounded like an idiot.

"I can tell," she said, and it was as if she hadn't even noticed his clumsiness. He appreciated it.

"I hope what troubles you will be resolved," she continued. "Maybe in a few days when the conference is over it will be."

"No, it's not the conference," he said before he could stop himself. "That still troubles me, but this is different."

"I see."

"I was... on a date."

"I see." Her eyes brightened up. "Was it a good date?"

"Yes. And no."

"Ah."

"Don't tell me you and the whole ship already know."

"No, Reg, I have no idea."

"Good. I don't want to give out the details but I think I messed up, and if I could go back in time and do things differently I would. But I can't, unless this area of space also has pockets of temporal anomalies, in which case I'd very much like to know where the nearest one is."

"Was your date upset?"

"No, he... he, uh, I don't know. Maybe?"

"I see. Did he say so? Did he do something to show he was upset?"

"I think so."

"You think so but you don't know for sure."

"Yes. No. I suppose he was disappointed, maybe?"

"Do you think you might be able to ask him for a second date?"

Reg hadn't thought about that. He had been so focused on their first date he hadn't even thought there could be more than one.

"You should consider that," she said, then got up. "He clearly makes you happier, even when the situation also troubles you. You shouldn't let go too easily."

He didn't know how to reply, but she seemed to understand that he appreciated her.

"Focus on the good things and let the worries wait for another day," she said as she left.

*

Deanna was probably right. He should focus on the good things. The date hadn't been a disaster, apart from the beginning and the ending. The middle part had been good, and for him that was an achievement in itself.

He needed a plan. He needed something to clear his thoughts. He knew the perfect place to do that, so he made his way towards holodeck three.

As he turned at the corner, expecting to see a door leading to the holodeck, he saw someone at the door, back towards him. Geordi.

His initial reaction was to turn around and walk away but he fought the feeling and stood in his place instead. He tried to focus on Deanna's thoughts. Good things. Only the good.

Geordi must have heard his coming because he turned around.

"Hi," he said, and Reg tried to mutter something back. "Sleep well?"

"I've slept better," he said, more honest than polite. "You?"

"Same. My neck's a pain. That couch isn't meant for sleeping."

"I'll, uh," Reg began, waving his hand towards the corridor behind him. "I see this one's taken. I'll go to another one."

"Actually," Geordi said, walking towards him, stopping two steps from him. So close. "This concerns you."

"Oh?" he said, scratching his neck.

"I thought it would be unpleasant for you to tackle the programme malfunction on your own, so I came to take care of it for you. I'm nearly finished."

"You really shouldn't have," Reg said, feeling a flush of embarrassment flow through his body when reminded of the incident. "It's my problem."

"Reg, it's a malfunction," Geordi said, putting his hand on his arm. "You didn't cause it. And I wanted to do this for you."

Reg felt his heart beat a little faster, and his instinct told him to pull himself away from the touch. He resisted it.

"I just feel that if I'd chosen a fictional character most of this could've been avoided. You wouldn't have had to go through this at all," he said, feeling he still owed some kind of an apology.

"I can't say this happens to me every day but in a way I'm glad it happened," Geordi replied.

Reg didn't know how to answer that, so he just stood there, aware of the hand on his arm.

"Listen," Geordi said, taking his hand away. Already Reg missed the touch. "I was just about to try it out. Computer, load programme La Forge 311."

"Is that the fix?"

"No, that's my holo programme that was affected."

"You mean yours was one of them?"

"Yeah," Geordi said, amused. "I have to admit it was a bit of a mind trip to see myself hitting on me."

"I am so sorry," Reg said, feeling the mortification all over again. Was this thing ever going to stop making him sick?

"Don't. It got us on a date."

There was an awkward silence, then the computer spoke up.

"Programme La Forge 311 complete. You may enter when ready."

"I'll wait here," Reg said.

"You can join me if you want," Geordi said. "I'd like you to."

Reg wasn't sure what to expect when the door opened. When it did, all he could see was a sea of blue under a cloudy sky. A literal sea, made of water, wind turning it alive. There was a long pier made of planks, nothing else. Geordi walked towards the end of the pier and Reg followed him.

"Where is this?" he asked.

"In my head," Geordi replied. "I come here when I need the quiet. You can get the sound of the sea in your quarters but not the wind or the sense of forever."

"It's nice," Reg had to agree. Little droplets of water splashed on the back of his hand. "I may have to steal it."

"Feel free to use it any time you want."

"So," Reg said, not very eager to interrupt the calm atmosphere. "Can you tell if the other you is still here or not? I don't see anyone."

"No, this looks fine." There was a pause. "Say Reg," he continued, "about last night..."

Here it comes, he thought. The regret and the apologies and the "let's just stay friends".

"You don't have to say it. I get it."

"What?" Geordi sounded confused.

"I probably wouldn't date me either."

"No, no, you misunderstand me. I was going to ask why you left the way you did."

Reg tried to come up with an excuse that made sense but he couldn't. Maybe it would be best if he just told the truth for once. Maybe it was time for him to start being honest. Geordi deserved that.

"I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I panicked."

"So it wasn't my fault?"

"Your fault?"

"You weren't bored?"

"God no," Reg said. "I know I fell asleep but it wasn't like that at all. We've been so focused on fixing this ship, pulling all these long shifts. At your place I started to feel relaxed and comfortable and I just... fell asleep. You're very good at relaxing me, you know that?"

"Well, I'm glad," Geordi said, turning his gaze towards the sea. "I still would have liked a good night kiss. No date is perfect without one."

"I wanted to," Reg said before he could stop his mouth from talking. Apparently it was honesty hour, whether he wanted it or not. "You must have noticed."

"I thought I did, but I never quite know with you, Reg."

"Well I did," Reg said. "I still do."

"Is this a date?"

"No, I--"

"I'm kidding, Reg."

Reg looked at Geordi, remembered the moment he had touched his skin. Now Geordi was here, right in front of him, and he wanted Reg. What was he waiting for? He raised his hand on Geordi's chin, swallowed, and...

"Riker to La Forge," came a loud voice.

Of course.

"You've got to be kidding me," Geordi muttered, his voice barely audible. "Yes, La Forge here." Reg thought his voice sounded sharper than usual.

"Please report to the Bridge," Riker said.

"Sure. Whatever. I'm on my way," Geordi said with a heavy sigh, and Reg could feel his reluctance.

"Everything ok there?" Riker asked.

"Yes, sir. Sorry. I'll be there," Geordi replied.

The sky disappeared, the water stopped splashing before drying out, and the pier turned into yellow lines on black under their feet as Geordi ended the programme.

"Rain check?" Geordi asked, a little quirk on the side of his mouth before he headed for the door. "Don't think this is over." 

"Wouldn't dream of it," Reg replied, watching him leave, then following his example and exiting the holodeck.

*

Warp two. Finally. The speed was still low due to stability issues, but they were starting to move faster again. While this was a good thing in itself, it also meant a return to the stressful reality. They were going to miss the first day of the conference, but unfortunately for Reg it lasted for three. Thanks to the funding committee who was fine with rescheduling, his team was still going to give the presentation. It would just happen on the third day instead of the first.

He was starting to feel uneasy again.

He thought about going on the holodeck for a chance to unwind, but right now it didn't feel like it would be enough. He thought about going to Ten Forward, but he didn't feel like being among people. He could also go and distract himself with calculations, but he doubted his mind was focused enough. A talk with Deanna might have helped, but it wasn't very likely. No, nothing felt right.

Except one thing.

"Computer, locate La Forge."

"Lieutenant commander La Forge is currently in his quarters."

It sounded like Geordi wasn't on duty right now. Perfect.

It didn't take long for him to reach the right deck and corridor. As he was walking towards Geordi's door, he passed the spot where they had sat during their first date. It had only been a few days but it felt like forever ago.

And then he stood at the door, like he had stood the last time, only now he didn't feel nervous. His heart was racing but this time it wasn't due to nerves.

The door opened and Geordi stood right in front of him, brows raised in question.

"Reg?"

But he didn't answer. Instead, he put his hand on the side of Geordi's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Not a soft, gentle one, but one he had been dying for since the very first weeks he had met Geordi.

He was used to kissing people on the holodeck, but this felt different. There was a vague taste of coffee, and he could smell oil. He had never managed to successfully add such sensory detail in his programmes. He had kissed people before, not often but enough to know the difference, but he was hit by the reality like it was the first time all over again.

"Wait," Geordi tried to speak, putting his hand on Reg's chest but not pushing him away. "Reg, what--"

"Shut up."

"Now wait just--"

"I mean don't speak," Reg said, kissing Geordi's neck, feeling the tiniest of stubbles there. "If you do," he continued up towards his ear, "I will realize what I'm doing and I'll stop." He pressed a kiss on Geordi's temple. Warm, slightly salty. "I don't want to stop. Don't make me stop."

"Oh," Geordi said before Reg was kissing his top lip. A gentle bite and tug. "Just let me close the door," he said, taking a step backwards.

With them far enough from the doorway, it closed on its own. If someone had seen them, Reg didn't know. And right now he didn't care.

He was only vaguely aware of his surroundings, because all of his focus was on Geordi. He knew where he wanted to go and he knew where it was, so he guided them across the floor towards Geordi's bed.

All of his senses were filled with Geordi now -- the feel of him, the taste and smell of him. How had he ever thought a holodeck could replace the real person?

"How are you so real?" he asked out loud, but Geordi didn't reply.

Instead, Reg could feel a palm against his lower back, then fingers sneaking underneath the fabric of his jacket, pulling it up, the touch making shivers travel up his spine.

"Let me," he said and opened the jacket, taking it off and dropping it on the floor where it was joined by Geordi's. Shirts, one, two, and then Reg was able to press himself against Geordi's warm body, not an inch of air between them. He felt like he was drunk.

There was no plan here, only things he wanted to do. Needed to do. With a gentle push, he guided Geordi to sit down on the bed, then lie on his back. He took off his trousers, then knelt down and took Geordi's off, letting them fall on the floor.

All that skin exposed now, warm and foreign. He pressed his hand against Geordi's thigh, brushing at the skin, wondering at the feel of it. He let his hand travel up towards the hipbone. Solid, unyielding, turning into softness again as he slid his hand upwards.

"Come here," Geordi said, and he climbed onto the bed, next to Geordi, and Geordi pulled him in for a kiss. He couldn't get enough of the sensation of their tongues touching, another thing he had forgotten during his years on holodeck.

He raised his leg over Geordi's, pressing himself against the side of his hip, trying to find a way to get even closer. Nothing seemed to be enough. He needed more. Geordi reached his hand around Reg's waist, pulling him tighter against himself, and he responded by climbing further on top of him, his leg between Geordi's.

He was hard. He rocked his hips gently, and Geordi let out a low moan of pleasure, which made him even harder. Geordi's hands on his buttocks urged him further, and he felt Geordi against his thigh, just as hard as he himself was. He buried his face between Geordi's chin and shoulder, kissing the side of his neck, tasting the salt, feeling the strong pulse under his lips. He didn't want this to end.

Their pace was faster now, more erratic. He loved the little sounds Geordi made between the heavy breaths, and he lifted his head up just enough to be able to look down at him, at his mouth, and kiss him. Geordi slid his hand down, on his thigh just below the buttock, fingers digging into his flesh, and he shifted his leg the tiniest bit up, quickening his pace. Geordi let out a groan, louder now, and another one. Low grunts accompanying each thrust Reg made.

That was all it took. Reg could feel himself spill on Geordi's thigh. He moved a little, making room for his hand between them, and he wrapped his fingers around Geordi. No gentle grip, no finesse, only a fast and steady rhythm, one he liked himself, and Geordi let out a cry as he came in Reg's hand.

Wet. Messy. Real.

Reg rolled onto his back, eyes closed, breathing heavily. Next to him, he could feel Geordi doing the same. After a while, he opened his eyes. The ceiling looked the same as his, he thought absentmindedly.

"So that happened," he said.

"Yeah," Geordi replied. "I wasn't expecting that."

"You didn't mind?"

He felt a slap against his side. He started to laugh.

"I meant the timing."

"Well, my shift is starting in," there was a short pause, "twenty minutes. I'd say you were just on time."

"First time for everything."

Another slap, another chuckle, and then an arm across his chest. He opened his eyes and saw Geordi looking at him through his VISOR.

"I'm going to sound like That Guy, the one who doesn't stay for cuddling and says he'll call but never does, but I have to clean up and find my clothes."

"They're... over there somewhere," Reg said, starting to raise his hand, but Geordi interrupted him by kissing him.

"I definitely want to do this again. Later," he said, and Reg smiled.

"Good."

He looked at Geordi as he climbed out of the bed and started to pick up and sort through the clothes.

"You can stay here if you want," he said, comparing trousers and choosing a pair, throwing it on the bed.

"My shift starts in two hours," Reg replied. "I have to go, too."

He got up, trying to wipe himself clean with his hand but failing. He started to put on his clothes, knowing that the moment he got back to his own quarters he would go straight to the shower.

"Why now?" Geordi asked, and Reg knew what he meant.

"I needed it. I think you needed it, too."

Geordi nodded lightly but didn't say anything. He was still naked when Reg was already fully clothed.

"I'll join you in two hours," Reg said, smiling, and gave Geordi one last kiss before heading towards the door.

"Don't be late."

The door opened, he stepped into the corridor, and he heard the sound of the door closing behind him.

He briefly thought of the coming presentation, but all he could do was smile.


End file.
